Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Once upon a time, I played this game.  It was a secret game, in which I was the only one who knew the rules - and the rules were quite simple.  Upon entering the bathroom, I would "win" if I was NOT interrupted - by anyone.  No knock, no yelling of "MAMAMAMAMAMA, WHERE ARE YOU??", no sneaky giggles, or neighbors requesting to play, or husband wondering if he can come in for "just a sec".  I played and played this game, and desperately tried to improve my technique.  There was the "I'm going to the bathroom - leave me alone, please." strategy.  There was also the "sneak attack" when I would enter the bathroom, without a sound,  like a stealth ninja.  And, while it definitely wasn't my best attempt, there was even yelling "Can't I just get a minute to pee ALONE??"

I had worthy opponents, and I lost this game. every. single. time.  So, I just quit.  Not because I am a quitter, but actually using this as my new strategy - maybe if I quit trying so hard to win, the universe would just bring it to me.  Play smarter, not harder.  This was my new technique.

As my advisaries now slide notes under the door, as I sit...  I quit, for real this time.  #loser

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