Classic with a Hint of Whimsy...: March 2021

March 17th came and went with the most underwhelming secret code message from the Leprechaun in the history of secret code messages. We all felt like something was up - and the cats were acting very strange (stranger than normal). So while we were surprised to find a letter from the Leprechaun on MARCH 20TH, the pieces began falling into place.

The next hour was spent following clues all around town, and learning the story of Arnold - the first year triple star Lieutenant Leprechaun.

Moon Rise 3

Oh no, oh geez. What am I going to DO!!! OH… now I’m hyperventilating. Ok, Arnold it's ok. Deep breathes, in through the mouth out through the nose. Ok, I think I’m better now. Anyway, Hello the name is Arnold. I am first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun fresh from triple rainbow bay (the leprechaun training base as you know). If you are reading these either I’m home or I’M DEAD! On St. Patrick's Day I was sent out to deliver treats to people all across the world. This task is the most dangerous job in the whole leprechaun village. Only the best of the best are chosen, I guess I’m more average of the best (I barely passed the candy sorting test, those darn milky ways). OK, on St. Patrick's day I went out and all was well until disaster struck. There was this house the brown siding glimmering in the winter moon, and on the inside navy cabinets like the depths of the ocean.

The standard house, I rush in to deliver the candy and get out. Easy. Peasy. Yeah, no. There were beasts in this house. The size of MY house, the orange one didn’t bother me too much. It was the white, brown, and black one. It's eyes the eyes of a demon. Beasts are the first thing we learn at triple rainbow, you grab the powder pouch and throw it at them. The only problem I didn’t know which pouch was the right one! As everyone knows leprechauns carry three things. 1. Compact Aeronautic Necessary Device You Better Always Require (CANDY BAR) this is what we use to get from Earth to Lepage where I live. It’s essential and if you lose it you should just call yourself a kit kat in the sun on a hot summer day. 2. Beast sleep powder, what I should have used on the demon beast. 3. THP or Top Hat Powder. Top hats are very fashionable in Lepage, so I always carry some when I need to spice up my outfit. As you can infer I used the TPH instead of the Beast Sleep Powder. Which did nothing to stop the beasts except render it very cute. In the heat of the moment I made a BEGINNER mistake. I jumped in a random cardboard box. Sargent Goldenbottom (My captain at Triple Leprechaun) I am so sorry. I really did it this time. This was worse than the time I washed your sheets in duck fat, you definitely didn't say detergent.

I was stuck in that box for what felt like days. As the sun rose (why aren't there two suns on earth like what) eventually I was able to climb my way out. Since then I’ve been hiding in this house trying to stay away from that beast. Everyday the humans come and go, I don’t know what they do but, the one with hair the color of sand is kinda weird. She is nothing compared to the one with black glasses he’s weird too. (like dude get a haircut). Anyway, I’ve been here for 3 moon rises and the humans say tomorrow is a day called Saturday. I plan on leaving the home of the beast and traveling out. I am looking for my CANDY BAR. It must have fallen out when I landed on earth.To stop humans from keeping us, if our CANDY BAR isn’t activated in 14 moon rises we pass into the great beyond. So I must find it. It may be at this place with these swinging chairs connected to poles the color of the sky. It shouldn't be too far. In human feet, it's about 3 blocks I think. I wonder why they don’t use furlongs. That's where I will leave my next letter. Please someone come save me, I’m running low on skittles. Over and out.

May Saint Patrick live in candied glory,

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 4

Ok, entry number 2. I have arrived at the big swingy things. After looking for what feels like forever I have not found my CANDY BAR. It’s not looking great either. I'm almost out of skittles so I’m going to have to find some soon. I do miss my family. Susan, my wife is so amazing. She is a leprechaun teacher for little leprechauns. She works so hard and loves her job. I do hope she is handling the duck issue in our house. A family of ducks moved in last week, we are letting them stay in our house until spring. They’ve been very messy though and eat all of our bread. Kate really likes them though. Kate is my daughter. She is so great and so smart. She really wants to become a treat deliver like I am. She even enrolled in the Triple Rainbow Summer Camp. They even had robot humans and beasts there. I do miss them dearly.

Lepage where I live is the only leprechaun village on the continent. Mostly leprechauns live here but, sometimes we have some other people such as ducks, fairies, and the occasional unicorn. The unicorns are very big though and tend to squish a few leprechauns while they are there. Jdhsklajh!! Ahh what was that this 2 legged creature the size of me just jumped at me. It was brown and had these massive wings. Jeez that was terrifying. This part of the world has some crazy animals. Anyway, I never did really like unicorns.

I plan on continuing my quest towards the south west region of sartell. The place where rampant beasts who shout from their lungs, roam. Humans seem to care for these heartless creatures. They make ear wrecking sounds like bark and roof. I don’t know if I’ll make it past these terrible creatures. This very well could be my last letter. It may take many moons to get there and I only have 10 left before… be.. before well I don't know. I must make it. I must make it back home.

For my Susan and Kate

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 4

For my Susan and Kate

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 8

Yay, yay yay. I FOUND SKITTLES. The HOOLIDAY had so many skittles. I only had one problem… I can't let any humans see me. So, I had to sneak in and carry some skittles two packs were the most I could carry. That should give me enough food to get to my CANDY BAR or moon rise 14. Hopefully we get to the CANDY BAR first.

I wonder what Timothy is up to these days. TImothy is my best friend. We meet at triple rainbow. He was the “Drop In” specialist. This is the person that prepares everyone for the drop out of the airplane onto people's houses. He was such a brave leprechaun. I am afraid of heights, I always have been. When I was just a young leprechaun I had a pet duck. Her name was Daffy. We took her in because she couldn't fly. One day she got on the roof and fell off. It didn't end well. She’s in a better place now. The ground, she fell off the roof into a pond. We thought she would drown but she can swim. I never knew she could swim. Now, she spends her days swimming in the pond next to my house. Anyway, the first time I was Dropping In, I was very scared. Timothy told me it will be ok and how I was so brave. Then he pushed me out of the plane. I fell and fell and fell for what seemed like forever. I got a grip on myself and pulled the cord. My parachute deployed, and I gently floated down. I was so grateful that Timothy did that. I got over my fear of heights.

Ok my next stop is what I am calling the Great Wall. I don’t know what it is used for but it's this big long field; next to some forests. So this field has two big walls on one end. It's also on top of a hill. Which might be an issue, because my legs are so little. I hope to be there by moonrise 10 or 12. Yeah, hopefully me CANDY BAR is there. Ok over and out

Full on skittles,

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 10

I have good news and bad news. Bad news first I only have 4 more moon rises before moon rise 14 and what comes after it just thinking about sends shivers down my spine. Ooh. I think I have a plan to get out of here though. I’ve been collecting items that I think I can Macgyver into a CANDYBAR. The Macgyver in Lepage is this talking goose (I don’t technically need to say “talking goose” because all the animals in Lepage talk duhh. I suppose if a human is reading this which I should have thought of. If a human does read this it could expose our whole world. So human if you are reading this please make sure that only some people know about us. It’s fine if you tell your friends but, if the rest of the world found out. We’d have to throw magic powder and that would swiss cheese all of the humans' brains.)

Anyway back to my homemade CANDYBAR; I have some cans, wires, magnets, and of course skittles. At Triple Rainbow I took some engineering classes and I should be able to jerry rig a CANDYBAR. Here’s what I’m going to do: if I get some batteries I can create an electro-magnetic (EM) wave. I focus the wave against the moon and angle it to Lepage. I should be able to send out a code and have the folks back at Triple Rainbow teleport me back. It’s risky though, since the skittles are being used to give the machine an extra boost of power. If I over power it the chance of it blowing up my face is pretty high. It’s really my only hope though. Hopefully I can find some batteries at my next stop.

I’m still looking for the real CANDYBAR though the chance of finding it seems pretty low. My next is this building just right down the hill from where I am right now. I think it’s like a holding place for little humans. I’ve seen them outside with big humans watching them. Through the windows I see the big humans teaching the little ones. Are the big ones creating an army of little’s to take over the world? Possibly. I hope I get out of here before then. So, that’s where I will be going next.

This leg of the journey shouldn’t take too long. I’ll probably just roll down the hill then, look for my CANDYBAR. After that I’m not sure where I’ll go. Anyway it’s time to go to sleep now. I’ll write tomorrow.

One last thing. Since I’m the only leprechaun to travel this far and long on Earth I’m technically an explorer. The first of my kind. Yeah, so I’m an explorer now.

The one and only Leprechaun Explorer of Earth,

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 11

I’ve arrived at the… well I’m not sure what it is. You know the place with the big and little humans. Anyway I couldn’t find my CANDYBAR so that stinks. But, I did find a battery to run my homemade CANDYBAR. It’s only three more moon rises and the chances of finding my CANDYBAR gets lower every moon rise. My only chance is going to be my homemade version. I ended up staying the night in this large tree. I’ve never slept in a tree before. It was pretty fun though. Except I had to ward off squirrels all night. Squirrels must be one of the things that cross over between Earth and Lepage. We actually have leprechauns who ride squirrels similar to how people ride cars. Yes, I did figure out they were named “cars”. I’ve been learning new ‘Earth Words’ like I learned the word “Burger King” which I should have known since we have a Queen Celery in Lepage. She delivers celery across Lepage. That’s what the “Burger King” does too… I think. I also learned what a “Cat” is. It’s the beast that attacked me at the first house I was trapped in!! IT WAS A CAT!! People apparently keep them in their houses as guard animals to protect their gold. Ugh, I don’t like cats!!

Also, I’ve realized that humans don’t use moonrises as how they keep time. A little explanation. Lepage’s planet’s moon orbits faster than most moons. In Earth time one moon rise is about 5.14 Earth hours. 14 moon rises is approximately three days. So, I have to be off of Earth by Saturday the 20th. Yeah, that’s how moon rises work if you were wondering.

I wonder what Susan and Kate are up to these days. Kate is probably packing for her “Youth Triple Rainbow” summer camp. I do hope she isn’t too sad with my disappearance. I’ll see her soon though, I just know it. Susan’s students shouldn’t be too naughty. It was just Saint Patrick’s day so they are probably on Saint Patrick’s day break. Over the break kids like to give back to the city and help clean up the environment. They also receive gifts from the Elder Leprechaun which is kinda like the Saint Nick on Earth I think. I do dearly miss my Susan though. I love both of them.

My next stop is going to be the house where I started. It’s a risky decision but, I think that’s where the best spot is to teleport back to lepage. It is a REALLY long walk so it’ll probably be 3 moon rises. I’ll be cutting it close so my homemade CANDYBAR better work. I think I’ll go to the little wooden hut in the back of that house. I hope I can be home soon.

Starting to use big photosynthesis words,

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun

Moon Rise 14

This will be my final journal entry. It is Moon Rise 14, my final Moon Rise before either I leave earth for Lepage or I leave earth for wherever you go after. I’ll be ok though, I know that my CANDY BAR will be able to contact HQ at Triple Rainbow. Currently I’m in the little brown box behind that house. I had quite the adventure on Earth. I learned a lot but, I really hope I NEVER EVER EVER get stuck here again.

Anyway my CANDYBAR is all set up, I just have to put in the last few skittles. Ok, they are in there. Ahhh! The CANDYBAR is giving off a blinding light, oh ok it’s gone now. Wait. I hear something oh my gosh I hear something. It’s quiet but, if I turn the tinfoil disk it gets louder. Ok… it’s coming through now.

HQ: Arnold is that you?

Me: Yes, I’m here on earth I need to get back to Lepage.

HQ: oh thank Saint Patrick we thought we lost you. The whole village has been waiting for you to get home.

Me: Great, how’s my family?

HQ: Susan and Kate are right here and they are doing just fine.

Susan: Oh, Arnie you’re ok! I love you Arnie

Me: I love you too Susan. Kate, how are you?

Kate: Better now, dad.

HQ: Ok, you only have a couple more earth seconds before you die at moon rise 14 we’re going to beam you up. Oh, it may leave some items behind but, don’t worry about that.

Me: thank you, thank you!

Finally I’m going home.

Homeward Bound,

Arnold the first year triple star lieutenant leprechaun-Earth explorer