This photo exudes so many emotions. It was taken as we waited to be admitted to prepare for surgery. We talked about coffee, the weather, told stories about the other people and did our best to pretend like we were not scared shitless. 

Dr. Kendrick came in after all the usual pre-op business had been complete. He said he was ready, and knew I was was, too. He said he was uncertain about how long the surgery would take. If all went well, it would take 6-7 hours. If there were complications, it could take longer. And, if they went in and found cancer everywhere, they would close me back up and it would be done within an hour.

I held my tears, as I told Andy I loved him, and reminded him to keep my family and T updated. I held my tears, as they wheeled the bed down the all.  As we turned the first corner, the tears fell. Upon entering the OR, a nurse wiped them away, promised they would take really good care of me, and held my hand. She held my hand and complemented my nails, and told me I had beautiful eyes, and made jokes about her colleagues. She held my hand and said I was in the best care and to take deep breaths. She held my hand as I feel asleep. And, when I woke up the first thing I did was ask what time it was.

It was after 4pm (I think?). It definitely was not within the hour.

Andy held me and said, "They got it. They got it all." Then, I saw T, and the tears came again.

Birthdays (along with so many other things) hit different after a cancer diagnosis. My little family celebrated me on the night before my birthday, knowing that tomorrow we head to Mayo for surgery. You know we thrive in tradition, and after dinner, there was cheesecake and singing and gifts and a picture. There are no words to describe how the simplicity of this evening was exactly what I needed before leaving. One of the most challenging parts of this has been waiting for surgery, and being home tonight fills my heart. Happy birthday to me. I love you all so much.

 

This sweet face sure loves her animals. She is currently working on getting a gecko, all the while trying to convince us chickens or ducks are a good idea. She does all kinds of research, sends videos and fun facts and (usually) asks her dad. 😂
 

 

 2024 was a year - and a very wise man told me it's one to "put on the shelf and take from it whatever makes us stronger and happy". That's what I intend to do. Providing us with strength and happiness was a good old with a ProJac Family NYE extravaganza filled with light and love (and no puzzle).

Christmas Day/Night 2024 Tradition of a winter walk, Chinese food and apocalyptic movie night didn't disappoint.
 

Last Winter Formal for Bennett. His preparation included making sure to get home from an impromptu CO ski trip with T, just in time to find something in his closet and iron it.  Quick shower and some hair goop and he was ready to go. 

First Winter Formal for Harper. Her preparation started months prior, as we purchased 4 options for dresses before deciding on this sparkly navy ensemble.  Shoes were purchased and sufficiently scuffed before hitting the dance floor. Hair washed the night before and curled, touches of make-up and gloss and delicate pearl jewelry rounded out the fit.

They danced (or jumped around) all night, and both had a great time getting home close to midnight, and sleeping in the next morning - until like 8am.